Coming Soon to a Gangland Episode Near You

First I have to start out by addressing an issue...In my first blog I called my boyfriend "large".  Well, he didn't actually appreciate me calling him (this is an actual quote) "fat all over the internet."  So we discussed this problem and compromised, I will now be referring to him as ruggedly handsome.  Now onto the actual blog...

Apparently we have a gang here in this glorious trailer park of mine.  It's a group of teenage boys who walk around after the streetlights come on and call themselves a gang.  Being the dedicated Ganglang watcher that I am makes it really easy for me to profile these hoodlums.

Colors:  As far as I can tell they don't wear any similar clothing, it would be really exciting if they all dressed in red or blue like some of the other notorious gangs.  I guess they are just expressing personal choice, who knows?

Enemies:  I'm gonna go ahead and just put this out there...I kinda had to act a little ghettoish in the middle of the street, screaming and throwing my arms around like a crazy woman in front of these kids once or twice.  So I guess I could be considered their enemy.  Nobody was busting caps or shanking anybody so it was pretty mellow.  (OMG!!!!  I just realized I have been in a certified gang fight.  How exciting!)

Tagging:  Again, I can see no evidence on a specific tag that these boys use.  Well I'm pretty sure they wrote "cunt" on the back of the trailer across the street, but she was a bitch so I'm just gonna let this slide.

Territory:  DUH! It's this stupid ass trailer park.

I'm pretty sure this is as far as I can go with this.  I keep looking for them on Gangland but so far they haven't been profiled.  I wonder why?  Here's a link to the awesome show I've been referring to, just in case you live under a rock, or in a worse trailer park than I do that doesn't have the option of cable.  http://www.history.com/shows/gangland

Home Sweet Home

I bet you glanced at the title of this and thought, "Ohh, a trailer. I bet this girl has some kind of kick ass RV and she's going to share amazing stories about her experiences driving around the country." WRONG! I live in a trailer, in a trailer park. Now that's amazing.

Before you start thinking, "Why the hell would I want to read a bunch of bullshit from some trailer trash, toothless, barefoot woman who probably hasn't even finished 5th grade." Just wait, because I have some stories to tell that just might be worth reading. Honestly living in this place is hilarious.

First, let's get rid of some common myths. I have all of my 32 teeth (and they are all 100% completely mine). My boyfriend is not a wife beater wearing, beer belly carrying guy (OK, maybe I lied a little on this one because he does wear wife beaters all the time and he's a little bit on the larger side...but it's not from beer I swear). I do not buy everything I own from Walmart (well I do buy a lot of things from there, just not everything). My kids are not snotty nosed, dirty foul mouthed brats (just to clarify, once in a while I have been known to over hear my youngest drop the "F" bomb. But since it's not on a regular basis I really don't consider him foul mouthed). You know what? I'm going to write a totally separate blog in the future putting TP myths to rest, I could keep going for days with this.

I live in a DOUBLE WIDE (yes, this is a big deal, we people in double wides look down on all the people living in singles...because no matter what you think a double wide validates living in a TP).

My master bathroom is the whole reason I choose to live here. Look at this bathtub!

I have a psychotic next door neighbor, and I'm convinced that the people across the street are acid dropping hippies from another time. Just wait until I can start the saga of the evil neighbor...now that's quality entertainment. Until next time...